How to ask a guy out

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Gone are the days when girls have to do all the asking. Sure it can be scary, nerve-racking and intimidating but learning how to ask a guy out could lead to great things. It could be that you have been friends for a long time or you belong to the same circle but you’ve never had the chance to be alone. You don’t have to wait for him to get all your hints, with these pointers, you can ask him out without coming on too strong and still be graceful if he says no.


1. Timing is everything.

  • Ask in a low-pressure setting where the two of you are comfortable. It could be after sports practice, in the hallway after class or when you are at a party.
  • Ask when you are alone or when there are not a lot of people around.
  • Don’t make a big deal out of it. Saying something like “Can I talk to you for a second?” is enough.

2. Have a specific activity in mind.

  • You can’t just come up to him and ask for a date or hang-out. You will look and sound silly.
  • The easiest activities to ask him for company are:

-school dance (like Sadie Hawkins or any other girls’ choice dance)

-movie, concert, game, museum or zoo visit (anything that the two of you are interested in)

-activity that he likes a lot (biking, eating Japanese food, ComiCon, etc)

-group dates are low-pressure and can be a lot of fun too

3. Plan for the best, expect the worst.

  • There is a chance that he doesn’t like you that much or he is seeing someone else and you didn’t know about it or maybe he is not free on the specific time and date you have planned. Expecting the worst will prepare you emotionally so you can still be graceful even if he says no.
  • Have a graceful exit strategy.

-Do not do the giddy happy dance in front of him if he says yes and do not drag yourself and burst into tears if he says no.

-Prepare a reason to leave the scene if he says no. Having to study for a test, hurrying to catch the bus or meeting someone will do.

-Come up with a plan B if he is clearly not in the mood. Ask for help with homework or the schedule of the next game if he is not in the mood.

4. Confidence is key.

  • Smile and talk fluently.
  • Look your normal self. Being overly dolled up when asking him is a turn-off.

Alternatives to asking him in person:

  • Over the phone –calling him eases the tension of having to ask personally, and you can have your gal pal standing by for support. The downside is, you cannot see his facial expression so you don’t know if he is interested for sure.
  • Through text, social networking and notes- this is low-key but can be pretty risky since you leave a trail for someone else to find. It can be embarrassing if someone else sees your message and you also have to worry about how to arrange your words.

Additional tips:

  • Make sure he is not dating anyone. You don’t want to get into trouble for sure.
  • Pay for the date because it was your idea. Unless he insists on paying.
  • Don’t make a big deal if he says no. Don’t stop being friends and don’t bash him too.
  • Understand if he doesn’t want to date if he just got out of a relationship.

Read more about How to -  simple manuals on the web


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