How to ask a girl out

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Asking out a girl can be one of the most nerve-racking experiences a lad can have. This is especially true for those men who are shy or have introvert-type personalities, those who are bouncing back from a break-up and those who are generally afraid of rejection. How to ask a girl out can be pretty tricky so to avoid the embarrassment of failing, here are a few steps to help:

1. Check her level of interest in you.

Here are some indicators of interest:

  • Making good eye contact with you
  • Smiling, laughing and having a good time when the two of you are talking
  • Finding ways to talk to you, sit directly in front of you or beside you when you are with a group of people

2. Observe how she looks at you.

If a girl likes you, she has the tendency to hold your gaze or shyly look away when you have eye contact. The trick is looking at how her gaze and her smile match at the same time. If she looks blankly at you and does not smile, it is obvious she is not into you.

3. Be aware of how she touches you.

Does she find ways to touch your hand even ever so softly? Does she find excuses to tap you or lean on you? The touch barrier is something that women put up if they are seriously not interested. The rule of thumb is, you don’t start physical contact unless she initiates.

4. Interact with her.

After making sure of her interest through her words and body language, engage her some more in conversations to ease your way into asking her out.

  • Look at her straight in the eyes when you talk. Shifty looks and looking at other body part will give her the wrong idea and turn her off.
  • Show her that chivalry is not dead; help her out when you can and when needed. Offer to carry heavy things for her, open doors and walk at the danger side of the street. Just don’t overdo it, save the grand gestures for when you are dating. At this point, subtlety is key.

Ask the question.

It is best to ask a girl out in a casual and low-key way so that if she rejects you, your embarrassment will not be a very big thing to deal with.

  • Put your best foot forward—smell nice and look nice.
  • Approach her nicely and strike a simple conversation.
  • Start small at beat around the bush a little. For instance, talk about music or the band before asking her to go to a concert with you.
  • Go with your gut. If she is responding positively to your conversation, ask away.


  • If you get rejected, handle it casually. She will probably say why she can’t go with you so a pleasant “That’s okay. Maybe another time then.” would be appropriate then carry on with the conversation.
  • Do not beg, manipulate or blackmail. She will definitely not want to have anything to do with you if you do that.
  • Do not react wildly if she says yes or no. That’s a turn off.
  • Do not ask suggestively. That means avoiding dirty questions, sexual innuendos and the like.
  • Do not ask through text or social networking. Even if there are emoticons, you will never be sure if she really likes you unless you ask her out personally. 

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